Federation of Dargunn
" what takes place in US senate hearings: I wish to proceed to the voting block to the motion SB 140.
What takes place in the council of Dargunn: RRRAAAARRGGHH!!!" Christian
“The farther away they are, the better it is to s**t them.” Bruce Duncan
“The question is: how many rolls of duct tape are needed to hold the universe together?
the answers is: 42” Lance
“Is it easier to fight a wall or a person? . . . uh . . . a wall?” Bruce/NPC
“we have been informed there are traitors manning the gate!
[one of the traitors]: what? where? seize them!” NPC/Jared
“Any undiseased person who comes to my land will receive a house . . . and a disease” Jared
" Ug Lee is on his way to the bathroom- You’re going the wrong way!
Any corner would work, I’m sure." NPC/Josh
“What library did you study at?
At the library of awesomeness in a very prestigious town.
Well apparently, they don’t teach how to treat alzheimer’s disease there.” unknown
“Perhaps we should save the food.
Save the food; it will taste the same(that sure says something about it).” unknown
“My Lord, My king-
I love you.
Kiss my foot.” christian/NPC
“how are we going to kill over 500 people in one night?
we don’t, we do it in two nights.
and what about the day in between?
we rape the dead bodies.” Lance/Josh
“It’s kind of like how I’m a representative of your god, because I’m your god.
. . . uh . . . No.” Jared/NPC
“Which god is that?
The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The Father of Christ, The son of Mary.
“And I am Jay Leno, the fiercest warrior in the land.” Max
*An orc holding a wooden mushroom is blocking a bridge.
“Hey, whats with the mushroom?”-Shatner
“My daddy gave it to me.”-Orc
“Is your daddy Mario?” -Scythe
“No. He’s Luigi”-Orc
stories of thyatians(pronounced thigh-asians) stealing babies is told among local villagers in dargunn
“this tastes awesome. . . in my pants”-christian
“Why is he talking to asians with thighs?” -Gulint
“Don’t all asians have thighs?” -Naglfar
“No! Only Thigh Asians!” -Gulint
after strangling hobgoblin- “I just wanna fit in!” – Mann the half-orc(Johnathan)
while discussing plan to assassinate someone- “i’m chaotic neutral!” – Mann the half-orc(Johnathan)
“We’re fighting tree monsters we should set them on fire.”-Ekos xuf(lance)- " but Rock is on the ground"-Tim’s hobgoblin- “so? Rock won’t be hurt, he’s a rock”
Proverbs from George the Cook
“A man shall eat good by the fruit of his mouth, but the soul of the transgressors shall eat violence.”
“The righteous eateth to the satisfying of his soul, but the belly of the wicked shall want.”
“Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.”
“All the days of the afflicted are evil, but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.”
“The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge, but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness.”
“DON’T INSULT THE COOK!”
NON Game Quotes
“We have more to fear from puberty than from death”
“It’s about faith . . . Touch it! TOUCH IT!!”
“so . . . um . . . what’s your last name?”
“even cavemen worshiped idols”
“there’s a lot of alcohol in Alcohol.”
“Yeah, quitting drinking is easy! I do it every night!”
“And then I juxtaposed Darth Vader into the revolutionary war.”
“I knew a cat that could climb a tree without claws, and then it got eaten by a hawk.”
“Are you FBI?
No, we’re Jesus people.”
“Hey look, it’s the bible people.”
“Downshift and pray”
“if megamind had a child, it would look like you(to ex-girlfriend)”
“Holy stawberries! The incredible Hulk just walked by. Fee Fi Fo Fum I smell the blood of a white man”
“You’re a cute little kid, of course they’ll answer the door.”
“My mother was crazy. if shed’ve had her fake teeth in, shed’ve bit ya. we didn’t have home teachers for six years.”
“well Cain went and mated with the beasts of the forest and I thought that’s where cavemen came from.”
“[watching a lava lamp] That looks like sperm.
i was thinking the same thing.”
“what the excuse today? does grandma have herpes?[next week grandma is sick]”
“if you want to find a drunk, go to the bar. if you want to find a good woman, go to church.”
“Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you were arguing over the water in the glass, I drank it.
“[speaking of Alcohol] sometimes it’s what the body needs.”
“I took care of one guy with a punch from my foot.”
“I enjoy going to the bathroom in the woods.”
“Are you baptizing the caveman?”
“Will it blend? That is the question.”
“Adam and eve wouldn’t have had any kids.
“We own the mall!
no you don’t. white people own the mall.”
“How can you understand him? Easy! I speak baby.”
“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall tick thee off.”
“It’s better to be pissed off, than pissed on.”
“If you can’t dazzle them with your genius, confuse them with your BS.”
“I should keep newspapers in the car and throw them at cats.”
“Excuses are like armpits. everyone has 2 of them and they both stink.”
“[string cheese cut in half by rat trap] Did you see the cheese?!!!”
" I have many enemies, but none with a spider"- russian guy in jungle to jungle
“movies are always better with a nazi villain”
“so, nazi villains are to movies as bacon is to food” lance