Federation of Dargunn

Death of an Emperor

The group meets a truodon in a city on their way south. After some discussion the truodon agrees to accompany the group on their search for the emperor. Some time later, the group reaches the home of the dwarves. After paying for licenses for magical goods, the group enters the mountain road where they meet a gnome riding a triceratops. Shatner buys the triceratops from the gnome, who had thought the triceratops was a hog and had planned to enter it into a hog race.s. The group hears a scream, so they tie up the triceratops and go to investigate. it is during this that Christianus Smith goes missing. The group encounter some dwarves. 2 dwarves are killed, one runs away, and the last is tied up. The group finds a diary that speaks of Shazu, a name the dwarves had also been saying. The tied dwarf is made to lead us to Shazu, though he could not speak any language that the party could. The group finds a room with a wardrobe, and a tunnel at the back of the wardrobe. Following the tunnel, the group finds the emperor and some guards. The party attacks. After the failed attack, Shazu (a beholder) is summoned by the emperor. The group fights Shazu, but eventually succumbs to his will. They find the gemstone for the staff of the beholder and Shazu destroys it, thus freeing himself from its control. The group then finds the emperor again and allows Shazu to eat him. With the emperor dead, the group continues their travel to the dwarf town.


after chasing off the the emperor, the group takes contol of the mountain elemental uklanda and travels to the plateau. while there they find a desert owl beak(required to heal christianus of his broken back. they travel north to druid shaman outside of snagahan. the shaman heals christianus. this where they met the truadon, torunon, for the first time(mentioned in the next log).

The END!
Here's my nonsense

November 8

Orc “friends” were gone.
Travel Southeast from pakak.
James takes a leak on Christianus in the morning after Christianus woke us up.
christianus spats at james. It ignites. james doves in the stream to put it out. It doesn’t go out until he gets his head back above water. james passed out. Scythe performed first aid.
Christianus was crying because he almost killed james.
reach town of Snagahan just as lightning storm starts.
James pays for a room a crowded inn. someone had to be kicked out.
Hobgoblin tells of Shamin Jou (pronounced Jow).
go to see shaman quided by barmaid Salie
shaman heals James, including his eye. eye can only see infrared light.
Must get liver of black widow and beak of burrowing owl.
will heal christian after getting these items.
James finds and delivers liver.
James sleeps, christianus and scythe drink, pass out, and get kicked out of the inn.
set upon by kobold while heading east.
“leave the lands of the great meriiiiiiiiii”
We wake up from out two hour nap and feed Christian
We found a bunny in a hole.
Captain Kirk tries to grab it, but could because of his rabbit eyes.
We spots a bunch of rabbit/gopher holes and maybe…BURRUW OWL
We have an encounter, damn.
We met an elf and a Truadon who were dueling and we talked to them.
We didn’t get anything from the dueling pair, so we asked a family of elves who building an illegal tree houses.
We warned them about the Hobgoblin village and we asked them about the Blair Witch Projects and Unicorns and learned that Unicorn go to those who are pure of heart.
We slept.
We awoke to fog.
We head south and walk through the night.
Morning, sunny day, suckers.
We walked South and sleep until morning.
It’s day time and sunny and we are starting to be paranoid schizophrenic.
Thunderstorm when we arrive in town at noon.
Now we were bathing and http://youtu.be/uTlJjFZL3zw?t=18s and clothing Christian.
We move on to a hobgoblin town. We cause a fight while Captain Kirk gets branded of a pig. We are still going South.
They are arguing and I am letting them die arguing with grass is caught by the spit napalm fire.
Captain Kirk blew the horn and the, MASTER, think we had the staff even though we don’t.
Scythe took out the eye while being distracted by Christian and Captain Kirk, and the walking mountain collapse. Scythe was trapped and tortured by Thyatians. I told them a few white lies and they let me free.
Captain Kirk and Christian were imprison and I warned the village closest to the falling mountain about the Thyatians. Scythe told a story.
Scythe ask everybody to charge and attack the Thyatians.
Wizard escaped with the Emperor and Wizard name Lekem while the Garrison comes out.

Scooby Doo Ending

We killed the Emperor and stole the staff. We found the eye and Christian. We created a walking mountain and there more adventure ensues.

To the Mountain!!! (Part 1)

After the attack on the keep, the groups orc allies were gone. The group continues south without them. James takes a leak on Christianus one morning after Christianus rudely woke everyone up pre-dawn asking for food. James empties his bladder onto Christianus, but Christianus spits it back. It hits James in the face and spontaneously catches fire. James jumps into a stream, but the fire does not go out until after returning to the surface. Christianus begins crying because he has nearly killed James, who was only saved because Scythe performed first aid. They continue to the town of Snagahan, where James learns of Shaman Jou (pronounced Jow). After meeting Jou, James is healed of his wounds, even regaining his eye. Jou demands the liver of a black widow and the beak of a burrowing owl, or else the wounds will return. Only after gaining these items will he heal Christianus. James finds and delivers the liver. The group heads east in search for an owl, and are set upon by a kobold, demanding that the goup “leave the lands of the great Meriiiiiiiii.”

To be continued

Kill it with Greek Fire dammit!
We gain Special Powers

Day 1-We broke into the fort and killed like ten guards at the gate, collapsed one gate tower completely. enter fort and find a line of more than 2 dozen gaurds facing us, with the wizard nikulsen floating in air 10 feet above guards. Christianus Smith has been spraying greek fire at the buildings inside fort and then when sees wizard sprays him. he catches on fire and he puts on aring which turns himself into ice, then he summons 10 oxen whcich charge us and all our orc friends scatter and we run out the gate. oxen dissipate when they reach the gate. then wizard summoned house above our heads. scythe and james got out of the way but christian did not. the house fell on him and broke his back. the house also landed on christians wagon with all his chemicals. when it landed it caused a large explosion with a mushroom cloud of noxious fumes which gradually settled down to ground level in a 100 ft diameter and caused the following effects to all who breathed the gas for more than five minutes.we gain Mercury Skin which gives armor bonus of +2 of natural armor against any attacks, lower immunity an 1, eyes glow white when telling the truth, no longer stun by mortal wound, lose all non-magical equipment, saliva is reddish chemical mixture which on impact will light with the heat of magnesium and its sticky and can’t put out by fire, exhaled fumes will cause a burned wound every second that is touch flesh and anyone in one ft range must take an immunity check to stay conscious, toxic blood that could be used as poison that caused every light wound into to become a normal wound, and only sleep could restored fatigue. also all inonmagical wooden and cloth and metal objects were burned away by the gas, so they were all naked except for christian with his magic armor.

after wards, a guard finds us and captain kirk convinces guard to let him dig christian out of rubble, pjuts on christians armor, and when dragging christian away sees body of wizard fallen on ground. walks past guard, who attacks. james knocks him ouit with a punch and goes to broken ice of wizards body finds ring, and body turns to flesh and wizard quickly dies. We the mighty dumbass heroes survive and go into town, so we can get gold to buy clothing. We are going to Pakak

Day 2-We’re in Pakak and we take out 2,000 from the bank. We bought everything we needed and now we are still going south with super powers and insanity.

in between records
non recorded adventures

after FIRE!!!!! they went to capitol and told council of man that wanted eye of stone adn of fire. learn that the town of donkak is rampaged by giant. go there. find out it was some sort of stone elemental. follow tracks of where giant came from=leads to mountaianside, find dying dwarf talks about stopping the beast, a key and his sanctuary. find cave where dwarf lived, find a small key carved form a pearl and a stone tablet with primitive heiroglyphs showing a map to mt vulcan. go to to mt vulcan. meet bob the orc, a vampire hunter. he agrees to help. they go to mouth of volcano. find panda of crazy man. kill panda., find stone rod, 3 inch diameter 8 ft long with runes(commands elemental). go to top of volcano, notice shadowy forms surroundingthem. crazy old man( Christianus Smith has deduced he is the deposed emperor of thyatis) demands rod, which james gives, because he is scared of forms in the shadows. then emperor strikes rod to ground, ground trmbles and a chasm opens up. emperor turns around and walks away. james jumps chasm before it grows to big and follows emperor. he is caught and stuffed in a bag of holding. after much deliberation scythe and christain and bob cross chasm. as going down vocano, it erupts much lava and ash. they run down the mountain side and take shelter on a hill where lava flows are too low to reach them. bob ran his own way while they did this. continue on road, find bag with something inside, turns out to be james. they decide to go back to wahee to get all of christians stuff. get his wagon and buy some extra horses. on the way to zoootem when meet 14 orcs target practicing with their crossbows for The Games. they give james a box, can only be opened in the full moon, start going back to wahee, on night of full moon open the box and find a stone horn inside which is supposed to call elemental. continue on journey, but in morning there is a blizzard, last for one day and one night. get lost in mountains. turns out hey went south and then decide to go towards ruran, where they rest. then they continue on road south to find emperor or elemental. they knw elemental is going south because of drwaings on walls of dwarfs cave. the dwarves imprisoned elemental and it want revenge. the eye emperor stole was able to release the elemental.
We are traveling south on the road looking for the giant elemental golem and found a wooden fort. talk to guards, tell us must obey nikulen’s laws whi e in his land. decide to kill nikulsen. charge at gate with bottles of explosion, break right side of gate. Christianus Smith shoots greek fire at gaurd towers and walls and gate.


After Charging the old mans tree-house….I forget……but he disappeared after being knocked out. After which, the characters return to the village to find that the town is on fire. Christianus Smith and Scythe stay behind to help while James Tiberious Shatner leaves(with Christianus’ backpack of holding). Christianus is eventually chased out of town with Scythe in tow. The two follow James trail until catching up to him in order to get the pack back and to ask where he is going. Upon discovering that James has set out in order to become a unicorn poacher, Christianus convinces him to make a deal: That Christianus will help in the poaching of 1 unicorn. In return, upon completion of poaching 1 unicorn, James shall become Christianus’ thrall. And then blah blah blah, stuff happened, and instead of poaching we decide to go clear out a bandit camp. Upon arriving at said camp, Christianus is severely injured by bandits and is carried to the nearest town by Scythe and James.

The Eye of Stone
As the story begins this day, James Tiberius Shatner is on his way to the very creatively named Mountain-Hills. Somewhere along the way, he gets lost and winds up several hundred miles off course. In the town of Manikak, one Christianus Smith is attempting to teach a class how to make the antidote to a truth serum. One student, whom he does not recognize and stands out as the only non-orc, is asleep. He demonstrates his antidote for the rest of the class by shoving it in the sleeping student’s mouth, thus ending the class on a slightly humorous note as the student spends the next several minutes coughing up a lung. After his coughing fit is over, the student introduces himself as James Tiberius Shatner. After some discussion, Christianus Smith decides to accompany Shatner on his quest. The two proceed to the town of Wahee. On the way, they encounter, near the town of Ruran, a woman being burned at the stack for being a witch. All attempts to save her failed. So, unable to save the woman, they buy fresh supplies in town and continue to the orc town of Wahee where they again resupply and then continue to the Mountain-Hills. Upon reaching the hills, they find the Joblin tree for which they searched, and then slept. Upon awakening in the afternoon, they burned the tree. When they did so a strange man appeared in a loincloth and after some introductions he led them to his tree house. There was no ladder leading into the tree house. One enters the tree house by jumping…..20 feet. The strange old man made it seem simple. Upon attempt, Shatner found that if he jumped hard enough, he would be magically grabbed and lifted the rest of the way. Christianus Smith had a much harder time of it, however, and after half an hour Shatner simply threw down a rope and pulled Smith up. The man identified himself as Lekum, and introduced his giant pet panda that consumes silver coins. He then told the two what his task for them was. They were to search for the stone eye and bring it to them. He said the nearby town folk would likely know more. On that note, the pair returned to Wahee to ask questions. First they went to the only human tavern, which so so pungent as to be almost unbearable. Then they went to an orc tavern and there learned that the stone eye was the orcs’ idol. They then hatched a plot to lead the orcs down on Lekum. For this, they were going to use Smith’s ceremony of mercury to increase his charisma so as to gain as many followers as they could. For this, however, they needed to find mercury. Christianus Smith, in order to obtain mercury, joined a small group known as the Mercury Men. Meanwhile, Shatner found the eye’s location and learns that 5 priests and a shaman live right beside it. The stone eye had been watching over the town for 56 generations. After obtaining the Mercury, the two met at the tavern and whipped the town into a frenzy. They prepared to charge the tree house.
June 29, 2013
As the story began this day, Boo, James Tiberious Shatner, and Kelly “Dork” Spacey were in pursuit. They were following tracks that led from the site of the attack on Elder Warden of Shanex, who had been sent back to town for medical treatment (Lewis Clark had also been sent). They were to seek justice and to retrieve a cloak, which if worn by the wrong person would spread a plague across the land. After following the tracks for about 3 hours, the group came to a cave. It was dark, so Shatner lit a lantern, and the group continued into the cave. Upon reaching the back of the cave, the group began looking for a secret door, for the tracks had led in but not out. During the search, Boo finds a silver ring sized for a female, which he took. Shatner, with his one eye, was the first to find the lever, which when he pulled, opened a secret door through which he lead the group with weapons at the ready. The first thing the group came upon was a cloakroom, which sadly did not contain the cloak that they were looking for, nor was there anything of value in the cloaks’ pockets. They continued on their way, and finding the path split, continued straight and opened the first door on their right. Unluckily for them the door was trapped. An arrow shot out, narrowly missing the group. Inside the room was a small library. Striding into the room, Shatner picked up the largest book he found, and seeing that it was a book on archaeology said “Ugh, BORING!!”, and left. Nobody else entered the room. After leaving the room , Shatner took a right (continuing in the same direction as earlier) and opened the door at the end of the hallway. This too shot out an arrow, hitting Boo. Inside this room was a bedroom. Shatner looked in the wardrobe and after finding nothing of interest the group returned back to the split in the hallway and turned down it. After a few feet the hallway widened, revealing a weapons rack. Equipment exchanges were as follows:

Item Found/Left/Taken Person
steel grieves Taken Shatner
bronze grieves Taken Dork
Longbow Taken Dork
baselard sword Found -
warhammer Found -
long-sling Found -
Great Ax with Spike Taken Shatner
Great Ax Left Shatner
Articulated leather Left Shatner
steel lorica segmentata Left Shatner
cinquedea Found -
poignard Found -
push dagger Taken Dork

Cavern Hide Out

After changing equipment the group continued, Shatner taking point. The hallway came to a T with another. Shatner took a right and came face to face with a human dude wielding a spear and an elf chick to his back. The elf began casting fire magic at Shatner, causing a wound which he just ignored. He swung his mace at the human, hitting the humans padded leather armor, and seeing that it had no effect decided to step around the corner. Shatner dropped his mace and grabbed his great ax, thinking it may be a better suited weapon. The enemy human crossed in front of Shatner without striking. Deciding he didn’t really feel like fighting, Shatner slowly walked back to the bedroom to take a nap, leaving his group, and more importantly his mace and lantern. Boo and Dork decided to battle on without Shatner. In the fight Boo is mortally wounded in the arm with blood spurting everywhere. Dork tries to bargain for the cloak, but is told simply to leave and she agrees. She applies pressure to Boo’s wound, and while doing so drags him outside. Not seeing Shatner, the only medic in the group, she goes back to look for him, finding him asleep in the bedroom. At this point Boo will only live about five more minutes before death from loss of blood. Dork awakens Shatner, who replies “Ugh, five more minutes.” and rolls back over. She then wakes him up again and tells him of the wound. Shatner sends her to get his mace and the lantern so he can see. While she is gone he takes the silver ring from Boo, who is unconscious, and hides it in his empty eye socket. Upon Dorks return he sews up Boo, and deciding that Boo is an eyesore, stuffs him in the wardrobe and goes back to sleep. While Shatner is asleep, Dork takes Boo back to the main road. Because she must carry Boo, it takes nearly a full day. Upon arriving there, she is greeted by a number of shepherds who agree to take Boo back to town for medical treatment. She then rests and prepares to return to the cave the next day.

Boo dies

Meanwhile, Shatner awakens to find himself tied up. The elf chick and human dude are in the room. “Hey guys, what’s up?” —Shatner “What are you doing here. We told you to leave.” —human “No you didn’t.” “Yes we did. During the battle.” “Oh, well I left…. Say, what are you going to do with me anyway?” “Well, were thinking of having our way with you.” “Well, she’s alright but I’d really rather you didn’t.” “….” “….” “Well….. Goodnight.”

And Shatner went back to sleep.
The next morning Dork arrived, and found Shatner tied up. She untied him and gave him a knife because all of his belongings were gone save what he was wearing. She then goes out to the hallway, expecting Shatner to follow, but he closes the door behind him. She continues without him.
At the weapons rack, Dork finds Shatners weapons and backpack. She leaves the weapons but puts on the backpack over her own, one to the front the other to the back. She then continues, taking a right at the T. She finds a dining room and kitchen. She goes back to the T and goes the opposite direction, finding a room with the elf and human.
Shatner sneaks out of the bedroom and down the hall, grabbing his weapons, and listens in on Dorks conversation with his captors.
Dork tries very hard to talk the elf, who is now wearing the cloak, to give it up, but eventually gives in to their demands to leave. She heads to the exit and comes face to face with Shatner, who demands his backpack. She won’t give it to him unless he helps her get the cloak. he says he needs something in the backpack, and when he gets close he slasher her hand with the knife she gave him. she jumps back and begins rifling through her own backpack for her crossbow. While she is doing this, Shatner breaks her nose with his mace and demands his backpack again. She says she will give it to him if he agrees to help (presumably with the cloak though she does not actually specify.) Shatner gets his backpack, and fixes up Dork’s nose. He then says he had helped Dork and proceeds to leave through the exit past the room with the elf and human. He says “Bye guys,” as he passes, to which they respond “Get out!”. “I am.”. Seeing that the exit is a sheer cliff, he decided to use the other one. “I’m using the other exit.”. “Just get out.”. He stops by the kitchen, grabs some food, and eats it on his way out. He begins the long walk back to Yoker.
Dork goes to sleep in the coat room. She awakens some time later to find some townspeople from Shanex fighting the elf and human. She aids them, successfully killing the elf and human. The townspeople take the cloak and refuse to give it up. They all look at the elf’s and human’s trophy collection, from which kelly takes a tiara. Back at town, the townspeople give Elder Warden the cloak he plans to give it to his daughter as her wedding gift. He is finally convinced to trade it for the tiara when dork says the cloak is absolutely hideous. After finally getting the cloak, Dork takes a carriage back to Yoker. She and Shatner arrive at the same time, both of them having grown a number of boils during the journey. Shatner goes to see a doctor, but the doctor is of no help. The two then take the cloak to the rightful owner. After he puts on the cloak the boils begin to dissipate.
Dork and Shatner are then told that one of the cloak-mans colleagues may be in need of their services. Should they agree to help him, they may find him at the mountain hills. To find him, they need only to burn a Joblin tree which may be identified by its lack of leaves and that it grows on steep rocky faces. Dork and Shatner return to Yoker to restock their supplies.

To Be Continued


ryan the druid and johnny strongman fought some hgs and were captured. convinced shaman to kill chief, after which they made a deal with shaman for leadership if they had a week to train some runt hgs and if their runts could beat the shaman’s champion he would follow them. so they won and gradually conquered other tribes in the forest. then convinced the human city and villages to enter a trading agreement and commenced to build a road. they also discovered the eagles living over the plateau and the goat herders to the east.it was not long before the orcs to the north came terrorizing their territory, so ryan and johhnny made a pact with the hgs in the south mtns and fought the orc clones led by an evil wizard. they defeated those orcs and then formed a federation betwween the hummans, dwarves, eagles, orcs, and hgs. they had some conflicts with the alphatian empire and empire of thyatis which led to the improsenment of the senate and empereor of thyatis. while this conflict was being resolved the immortals approached the special forces of dargunn for help in defeating the dark lord, which was a success. thus time was changed and the immortals placed the territory of dargunn on the planet of charnak. here they soon discovered two people to the west: the dino men and the batwizards. the surrounding lands are infested with long extinct creatures such as dinosaurs. these people are in the proicess of being incorporated into the federation.


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