As the story began this day, Boo, James Tiberious Shatner, and Kelly “Dork” Spacey were in pursuit. They were following tracks that led from the site of the attack on Elder Warden of Shanex, who had been sent back to town for medical treatment (Lewis Clark had also been sent). They were to seek justice and to retrieve a cloak, which if worn by the wrong person would spread a plague across the land.
After following the tracks for about 3 hours, the group came to a cave. It was dark, so Shatner lit a lantern, and the group continued into the cave. Upon reaching the back of the cave, the group began looking for a secret door, for the tracks had led in but not out. During the search, Boo finds a silver ring sized for a female, which he took. Shatner, with his one eye, was the first to find the lever, which when he pulled, opened a secret door through which he lead the group with weapons at the ready.
The first thing the group came upon was a cloakroom, which sadly did not contain the cloak that they were looking for, nor was there anything of value in the cloaks’ pockets. They continued on their way, and finding the path split, continued straight and opened the first door on their right. Unluckily for them the door was trapped. An arrow shot out, narrowly missing the group.
Inside the room was a small library. Striding into the room, Shatner picked up the largest book he found, and seeing that it was a book on archaeology said “Ugh, BORING
!!”, and left. Nobody else entered the room. After leaving the room , Shatner took a right (continuing in the same direction as earlier) and opened the door at the end of the hallway. This too shot out an arrow, hitting Boo.
Inside this room was a bedroom. Shatner looked in the wardrobe and after finding nothing of interest the group returned back to the split in the hallway and turned down it. After a few feet the hallway widened, revealing a weapons rack. Equipment exchanges were as follows:
Item Found/Left/Taken Person
steel grieves Taken Shatner
bronze grieves Taken Dork
Longbow Taken Dork
baselard sword Found
Great Ax with Spike Taken Shatner
Great Ax Left Shatner
Articulated leather Left Shatner
steel lorica segmentata Left Shatner
push dagger Taken Dork
Cavern Hide Out
After changing equipment the group continued, Shatner taking point. The hallway came to a T with another. Shatner took a right and came face to face with a human dude wielding a spear and an elf chick to his back. The elf began casting fire magic at Shatner, causing a wound which he just ignored. He swung his mace at the human, hitting the humans padded leather armor, and seeing that it had no effect decided to step around the corner. Shatner dropped his mace and grabbed his great ax, thinking it may be a better suited weapon. The enemy human crossed in front of Shatner without striking. Deciding he didn’t really feel like fighting, Shatner slowly walked back to the bedroom to take a nap, leaving his group, and more importantly his mace and lantern.
Boo and Dork decided to battle on without Shatner. In the fight Boo is mortally wounded in the arm with blood spurting everywhere. Dork tries to bargain for the cloak, but is told simply to leave and she agrees. She applies pressure to Boo’s wound, and while doing so drags him outside. Not seeing Shatner, the only medic in the group, she goes back to look for him, finding him asleep in the bedroom. At this point Boo will only live about five more minutes before death from loss of blood.
Dork awakens Shatner, who replies “Ugh, five more minutes.” and rolls back over. She then wakes him up again and tells him of the wound. Shatner sends her to get his mace and the lantern so he can see. While she is gone he takes the silver ring from Boo, who is unconscious, and hides it in his empty eye socket. Upon Dorks return he sews up Boo, and deciding that Boo is an eyesore, stuffs him in the wardrobe and goes back to sleep.
While Shatner is asleep, Dork takes Boo back to the main road. Because she must carry Boo, it takes nearly a full day. Upon arriving there, she is greeted by a number of shepherds who agree to take Boo back to town for medical treatment. She then rests and prepares to return to the cave the next day.
Meanwhile, Shatner awakens to find himself tied up. The elf chick and human dude are in the room.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” —Shatner
“What are you doing here. We told you to leave.” —human
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes we did. During the battle.”
“Oh, well I left…. Say, what are you going to do with me anyway?”
“Well, were thinking of having our way with you.”
“Well, she’s alright but I’d really rather you didn’t.”
And Shatner went back to sleep.
The next morning Dork arrived, and found Shatner tied up. She untied him and gave him a knife because all of his belongings were gone save what he was wearing. She then goes out to the hallway, expecting Shatner to follow, but he closes the door behind him. She continues without him.
At the weapons rack, Dork finds Shatners weapons and backpack. She leaves the weapons but puts on the backpack over her own, one to the front the other to the back. She then continues, taking a right at the T. She finds a dining room and kitchen. She goes back to the T and goes the opposite direction, finding a room with the elf and human.
Shatner sneaks out of the bedroom and down the hall, grabbing his weapons, and listens in on Dorks conversation with his captors.
Dork tries very hard to talk the elf, who is now wearing the cloak, to give it up, but eventually gives in to their demands to leave. She heads to the exit and comes face to face with Shatner, who demands his backpack. She won’t give it to him unless he helps her get the cloak. he says he needs something in the backpack, and when he gets close he slasher her hand with the knife she gave him. she jumps back and begins rifling through her own backpack for her crossbow. While she is doing this, Shatner breaks her nose with his mace and demands his backpack again. She says she will give it to him if he agrees to help (presumably with the cloak though she does not actually specify.) Shatner gets his backpack, and fixes up Dork’s nose. He then says he had helped Dork and proceeds to leave through the exit past the room with the elf and human. He says “Bye guys,” as he passes, to which they respond “Get out!”. “I am.”. Seeing that the exit is a sheer cliff, he decided to use the other one. “I’m using the other exit.”. “Just get out.”. He stops by the kitchen, grabs some food, and eats it on his way out. He begins the long walk back to Yoker.
Dork goes to sleep in the coat room. She awakens some time later to find some townspeople from Shanex fighting the elf and human. She aids them, successfully killing the elf and human. The townspeople take the cloak and refuse to give it up. They all look at the elf’s and human’s trophy collection, from which kelly takes a tiara. Back at town, the townspeople give Elder Warden the cloak he plans to give it to his daughter as her wedding gift. He is finally convinced to trade it for the tiara when dork says the cloak is absolutely hideous. After finally getting the cloak, Dork takes a carriage back to Yoker. She and Shatner arrive at the same time, both of them having grown a number of boils during the journey. Shatner goes to see a doctor, but the doctor is of no help. The two then take the cloak to the rightful owner. After he puts on the cloak the boils begin to dissipate.
Dork and Shatner are then told that one of the cloak-mans colleagues may be in need of their services. Should they agree to help him, they may find him at the mountain hills. To find him, they need only to burn a Joblin tree which may be identified by its lack of leaves and that it grows on steep rocky faces. Dork and Shatner return to Yoker to restock their supplies.
To Be Continued