Federation of Dargunn

TOAST: Rising Bread, Spreading Butter

Blackmoor. One of the few “mega dungeons” in existence. Rumored to have over thirty floors, but none who have returned have ever made it past the tenth floor. Or so the story goes. And there I stood, first time out adventuring. At this notorious dungeon. Just great. Seventy years at the university paid off, else I would have died. Anyways it’s not like we planned to be going any further down than the first floor.

This party is comprised entirely of novice adventurers like myself. We total fourteen. We’ve got quite an odd member though. Members? I don’t know but four of our members move and speak as one. They refer to themselves as Toast for whatever reason. Other than that, they seemed like a pretty average bunch. And so we entered the first floor of Blackmoor, some of us gung ho, others weary, but none knew at the time how things were going to end up. After walking around a bit, we got a taste of how maze-like this dungeon was going to be. We hit a few loops and dead ends before making much progress. And for whatever reason, those dead ends intrigued our group so much so that we spent several minutes inspecting each one. That aside, we eventually came to a small hallway blocked with a large pile of rubble stacking eight feet high. Luckily for us the ceiling of the area was two feet above it. Just enough room to squeeze through. Not wanting to crawl to our death, we had our halfling and dwarf check it out first. You know, because they’re short. Anyways, one of them had a bit of a slip up and caused a little rubble landslide. The halfling was quick enough to avoid getting caught, but the dwarf not so much. We had to dig the dwarf out of the rubble, but at least we benefitted a little. The level of the rubble lowered a bit giving us a three to four foot gap to go through. Not much but it’s something. Unfortunately, at this point since nothing of interest was happening, two of our party members decided to head back outside and return to town. They’ll never know what they missed. Actually, they’ll probably see us very soon. After climbing through the rubble and making a left, we arrived at a large room with what looked like pillars in the distance. Careful not to trip any traps, we stuck to the left wall and slowly explored the room. To our relief, it was a completely empty room, save for the several branching corridors, a few pillars, and a large staircase leading back up outside. We decided to check out one of the corridors near the staircase and were met with another, smaller staircase. However this one led down deeper into the dungeon. Getting a little confident in ourselves, despite not even having fought one monster yet, we decided to take the staircase down. We were immediately met with a branching path only to find out that they were connected to each other just around twenty feet or so down each one. Deciding to follow the path on the right, we continued and shortly after, we came across a spiral staircase leading up. This wasn’t any regular staircase though; it glowed and had a magical presence about it. We all had known of this staircase from the tales told by other adventurers. It was called the Orcian Way, rumored to lead directly to the tenth floor of the dungeon. It’s said that all who have entered this specific staircase never return. It was odd at the time to think the staircase was connected to the bottom since it went up, but we learned what that meant the hard way. For whatever reason, the Orcian Way piqued the interest of the other elf in the party. He decided to climb it on his own, but before he left we secured a rope around his waist in case he needed to be pulled back down. And of he went. And after two hundred and fifty feet of rope had passed, he stopped going up. We assumed he found the end of the staircase, but he gave us no sort of signal. Then all of a sudden the rope went taut. Unlike the times when we ran out of rope and had to tie another line to the end, after going taut the rope didn’t pull at all. We decided to give the rope a little tug and it immediately went slack. Worried about his safety, we quickly rolled up the rope and ascended the staircase. In hindsight, we couldn’t have made a worse decision. As we reached the top, there was no sign of the elf. But we did find a trap door leading up. Examining the end of the rope that he was tied to, we saw that it was broken; not cut nor chewed off, but broken. The odd state of the rope put us on guard as we opened the trap door. We were met with a view of the sky and small platform. Cautious of traps, we tied the rope around our halfling and had him peek outside. Noticing nothing wrong with the area, he climbed through and vanished right before our eyes. No sound, no trace left behind. The rope attached to him fell to the ground, broken at the point that didn’t cross through the door. Our dwarf, as brave as he was, wanted to investigate what happened. So we tied him to one of the poles we were carrying since it would be easier to control how much of him went through the door. Weird group right? Yeah I still think so too. We raised the dwarf half way through the doorway, but nothing happened. Continuing to slowly raise him up, he, like the others, immediately vanished as soon as his feet cleared the trap door. And in similar fashion, the pole broke where it hadn’t crossed the door. During this time, one of our party members somehow convinced one of the conjurers we saved that the magic ring he was looking for was through the trap door, and off he went to his presumable death. Deciding to cut our losses, we closed up the trap door and headed back down the stairs only to find that the doorway that we previously entered through had disappeared and more stairs leading down had appeared in its stead. So with no better option we continued down the Orcian Way. And on it went. We walked down the staircase for what seemed like a few days. And finally we came to another door that led to an empty room with no other doors. After a bit of searching around, we found that one of the walls slid open. We cracked it open just enough to see what was on the other side. The room on the other side was enormous and filled with hundreds of orcs. We assumed this was the tenth level of the dungeon because of all the rumors we’ve heard about the Orcian Way. Either way, we wouldn’t have won if we tried to fight that many orcs. So instead, the collective mind known as Toast, at least that’s what we’ll be calling it from now on, had the great idea of convincing the orcs to join they’re hive mind in an effort to further their ability to conquer the world. Off Toast went into the orc-filled room to give their speech about world conquest. And a few minutes later, orcs began to roar, cheering for Toast. However despite the cheering, only four of the hundreds of orcs were willing to join Toast. Feeling that the orcs’ bloodlust was dulled a little by their speech, the rest of us traveled through the door. Unfortunately for me, the orcs decided to let Toast meet with King Funk if Toast let them eat me. Because elves taste goods. Sure. And so off we were dragged to meet with King Funk. Luckily before the feast, Toast was able to convince the king that eating me would be bad for Toast. So we traded my flesh for the flesh of the two remaining conjurers that we saved earlier. We didn’t need them anyways.

During the feast, Toast was able to convince King Funk to join forces with Toast, and so we donned the King with the parasitic butter hat that caused a being’s mind to be controlled by Toast. Unfortunately for us, King Funk had an odd reaction; he immediately had a seizure and fell unconscious. This struck up a lot of doubt in the other orcs, but with some quick thinking, poles, and rope we were able to use King Funk’s body as a puppet. After seeing the state the king was in, the shaman of the group came forward and declared us evil. He began attacking us with magic and nearly killed one of Toast. But with a little more quick thinking, we all acted like we were hurt by the attack, including the king. We were able to use this as leverage to get the orcs to protect us from the shaman. The orcs didn’t want to hurt the shaman since they believed him to be sacred, but they were willing to tie him up to prevent him from hurting the king. Afterwards, we distributed butter hats to all the orcs to get them under the control of Toast. The trolls, ghouls, wraiths, and roaring demons refused to wear the hats, but agreed to be a part of our combined army. Eventually King Funk woke up and officially joined Toast.

So here I sit. On the tenth level of Blackmoor, one of the most notorious and dangerous dungeons known to exist. Essentially conquered at this point. Listening to Toast and the orcs talking up a storm about conquering the world. Did I mention this was my first dungeon?
the end!

left nobok, go to next village on seashore. when reach village speak to chief, the village has had traders from the federation recently, eager to join federation, tell of monkey like people on mountains to west. travel west across sea, reach village in trees during stormy night. villagers=4 foot tall monkey people with bright colored fur of dif patterns. in morning talk to priestess. monkey realm is ruled by empress=goddess. fight champion of village=he had psionic powers, defeat, they agree to send ambassadors to federation. group returns to federation with ambassadors and truadon are welcomed as members of the federation.

The Silver Surfer
As narrated by Gnarsh the Fang

Right, listen up, bugwits, ‘cos I’m only tellin’ this story once.

So I’m out wandering the jungle after the last o’ me mates keeled over from liverwurm, wonderin’ how I’m going t’get paid fer this, and I run into some silver-skinned fellow (Editor’s note: Christianus Smith) Can’t understand a word he says, but ’e’s not a giant lizard so we stick together a little while, and soon enough we end up runnin’ into a village of those scaly truadon bastards you get out here (Editor’s note: Arnod). Turns out there’s a few other explorers from the Federation out here, plus a couple o’ scalies who can speak proper, so we get to talking and next day I’m proper employed again. On the way we meet some elf, ’e’s got a map the boss says is worth good money when we get back to civilization, so I taps him on the head and we lighten ’is burden a little before we move on.

The next village down the river (Editor’s note: Sif) won’t let us in, keep jabberin’ about evil spirits. Our face-man talks to ’em a while and eventually gets them to send their chief or big man or ’oever out to talk, as long as we stand in the river while we talk. Lizards, right? Anyway eventually he agrees to join the Federation as long as we promise to go away and stop bothering me. Also ’e gives us a rock. Bugger if I know why.

Now the next stop (Nobok), that’s where the story gets good. See, we get there and the only thing their chief wants to talk about is ‘ow their neighbors blasphemed by killing a sacred monster or summat. Turns out the lot we just came from, they’ve been hunting tyrannosaurs, while this lot thinks they’re children of some god or other. So they want us to help punish the other lot. Only, we just got done talkin’ them into signing on with the Federation. Bit awkward to turn around an’ give ‘em a bloody nose, y’know? Me, I don’t think the Federation’d be missing it if we went and knocked the first bunch off the map, but nobody else likes the idea, the boss says we won’t get paid unless we get all the locals, and I guess I’d feel an idjit heading right back up the river to undo last week’s work. They made us spend an hour in the river.

So instead I says: look, boss, this lot is ticked off ‘cos they worship some bloody great lizard they think is a god, how about we convince them Mister Silver over there is a god? So Silver puts on a show, makes his eyes glow and starts spittin’ fire and whatnot, and we tell the head lizard this guy’s a better god than their Great Monster. He doesn’t quite buy it, says the Monster will devour them all if they stop worshipping, so we says, look, this Great Monster lives around here, right? We’ll kill it and prove the Silver Surfer is better. They don’t like it, but nobody’s man enough to try and stop us. Or lizard enough, I guess. Whatever.

So that’s what we do. We follow the big T-rex tracks up to a ridge a few miles off, see a few of the beasts on the way, lot of dead dinos. They don’t bother us. (The rexes don’t, I mean. I guess the dead ones dint either, ‘cept fer the smell.) We set up a few traps, pits and suchlike, ’cos none of us wants to fight this thing mano a monster. Then we look around the hills til we find a huge stinking cave with lots o’ dino footprints around. Now here’s what we do next: one of us climbs up above the cave and gets ready to push a bloody huge rock off as soon as the beastie comes out, another heads into the cave and sets up a big fire to smoke the beast out. Few minutes later we hear a big roar and the Great Monster charges out, fifty feet tall and on fire and roarin’ bloody murder. We drop the rock on him, pour some alcohol and suchlike, and after a minute it keels over. So we chop him up and haul the good bits back to the village.

Now, I can’t read lizard faces worth a damn, but I’d say there were pretty shocked. Their shaman fellow gives the Silver Surfer ‘is feather hat, there’s a feast, they agree to whatever we ask for.

Oh, and the tyrannosaur flambe was bloody good.

That’s the story.


robert, and nallik go with truadons hunting, kill t-rex, bring it back to village, they agree to join federation. duiring night the enchanted flower wilts, ghost possesses nallik he tries to kill other truafdons, people knock him unconsciuos. robert sneaks out of village. in morning the village condemns robert and two truadon take him to river and throw him in. robert tries to rescue him, fails. nallik dies. robert stays at village for a few days surviving on stolen food and fish. he then travels back to previuos vilage fishing on way, almost dieng from starvation.


when got back to village with elder’s body, feast on raptor body. receve special flower as token to keep roberts ghost at bay. convinced village to join federation. went downriver. on way hiunted dwon giant constrictor and poisonous snake, killed giant bird and giant beetle. after 6 days reach next village, sif. try to convince village to join federation. agree to join hunting party next day to prove value.


when they reach village of arnod, they find elf(robert) already there. He tells them of ghost that haunts him and kills nearest person every night. they become afraid and search out shaman of village. he will stop ghost if they retrieve something a child stole from him. they leave elf with shaman and go to house where child lives. encounter his mother. she claims shaman killed her cousin/husband. they go back to shaman. he claims it(a jawbone) contains a great evil and she wants to release it. they go back and steal jaw bone and run back to village where they give to shaman. meanwhile he performed ritual which surrounded robert with vines and commands him to not move till morning.

In the morning, the group is accused of killing an elder, after some investigation they decide he went hunting during the night. they find his trail and follow it. they find a dead velociraptor, and the elder dead. they bring his body and the raptor back to the village


during night they are awoken by a t-rex rampaging in the village. they chase it away. in morning chief tells them that if they kill t-rex he will listen to their arguments for joining the federation. they follow t-rex path and find young truadon boy and bring him back to village. deduce that boy is a were-rex. watch him overnight and he turns into t-rex. tie him down, test if he is were-rex by touching him with silver. in morning follow t-rex trail again, and found truadon footprints, leads to clearing in jungle with large rock. discover opening in rock. go inside and find the wizard lekem with a truadon in a cage. he says that this is the second were-rex he has seen, will not let group kill caged truadon(which need to do to cure young boy of lycanthrpope before the full moon sets). group goes outside. wait until nightfall, trysn sneaks in when lekem is asleep and feeds truadon some meat with silver hidden in side. the truadon eats it, and starts to burn from the inside until he is dead. on his way out trysn tries to assassinate lekem, who awakes and kills him with giant thorny vines. pillowpants came down to help, but is also killed by lekem. rest of group runs away.

went back to village. meet christianus smith, and some servants of his. he was there collecting alchemiocal ingredients. thogrin wants beer so they go searching for fruits and stuff so they can distill some alchohol. kill a triceratops. use its body parts to make a still. go back to village and give triceratops meet to chief. make canoe and go downriver to next village. meet traveling caravan with drugged pack animals. helped them. thogrin gets in fight with guards, almost dies and goes unconscious. group takes him away and they travel downriver until they reach next village.

exploration part 2

nallik and pillowpants traveled south. on first day, see approaching stampede, chased by 2 t-rex. after stampede meet torunon and yuplik. they are from the hare tribe. decide to go together to tribe. travel to hare. takes 7 days. talk to chief try to convince to join federation. stay overnight

exploration part 1

in yoker nallik and pillowpants make freinds with city guard, garfunkle, whio gives them his boat. go to rivertown with him, he won’t enter swamp of beast. they travel on river through swamp, meet necromancer in graveyard, convince him to join. near end of swamp meet little boy holding sign, tent behind him. charging 5 silver for entry into the hall of wonders. inside meet professor hardwick. continue on river to zillaton. necromancer decides to stay at zillaton. they convince a young truadon(member of pink claws hunting gang) to accompany them. they travel south, young hunter leaves at base of mountains. they enter pass, find a dead wyvern and harvest fangs and wings. keep traveling south.

jouney=12days on river to zillaton, 4days walking south=16 days total

truadon city

nallik, a traudon, is travelling through zuburg, meets trysn. trysn is assigned by CO to be guide for nallik. they go to yoker. nallik money/spear is stolen. trysn contacts old freinds in yoker th;at are part of a criminal organization, gets beat up by them. migrad and other dwarves nearby lagh at beaten up trysn. guards break up the fight. migrad and pillowpants make plans to get in on the thunderstalk drug business. nallik and trysn go to library and look at maps and stuff. they met with local authorites. told that they willl be paid one gold for every 30 sq miles(6 mile hex) mapped. also informed of work to prepeare truadon tribes as a region of federation. travel around swamp, follow river to truadon city. talk to truadons, hold plebiscite, truadon vote to join federation. t-rex attacks, every one runs, but trysn. trysn kills trex. they go back to yoker and give regional gov draft to local authorities.


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